If Quentin Tarantino were playing a Grand Theft Auto–style video game where you could custom-build your own avatar, and Quentin wanted this avatar to look like him but the idealized, much more handsome, one-inch-taller, smaller-foreheaded, rock-star version of himself: Stephan Jenkins. His high school yearbook quote was “Success: All it takes is all you’ve got.” He studied English literature at UC Berkeley, graduated as the valedictorian of his class, and went back to his elementary school afterward to remind his sixth grade teacher about the you won’t graduate high school thing. His sixth grade teacher told him he wouldn’t graduate from high school and was headed straight for juvenile hall. His parents divorced when he was 7 he struggled with dyslexia as a kid. Stephan Jenkins grew up in Palo Alto, California, and doesn’t talk about it much. If you simply must bring speed to a rock concert I implore you to go see literally any other rock band that has ever existed. No offense to Primus but that sounds awful. No one had done it before, and, like, three weeks later all of my friends were addicted.” Sidebar: Don’t ever take speed at a Primus concert. He did tell Rolling Stone, “It’s about a time when my friends and I were at a Primus concert and somebody brought speed. It really is funny that people play it on the radio.” Stephan was often cagey about precisely how, uh, autobiographical “Semi-Charmed Life” was. Stephan Jenkins, explaining “Semi-Charmed Life” to Billboard in April 1997: “It’s a dirty, filthy song about snorting speed and getting blow jobs. The world has spent nearly a quarter-century now grudgingly acknowledging the awesomeness of “Semi-Charmed Life.” Later in this show today I will discuss the awesomeness of “Semi-Charmed Life” with none other than Max Collins from Eve 6.
It’s catchy, it’s gritty, it’s subversive, it’s ridiculous, it’s incandescent. I should clarify immediately that this song is awesome. Today it’s “Semi-Charmed Life” from the 1997 self-titled debut album from San Francisco pop-rock band Third Eye Blind. What makes this guy special? What makes this guy the great unifier? Well, I suppose you’d have to start what makes him great. But really: To what do we owe the world’s displeasure? Lotsa megalomaniac walking-cheese douchebag rock stars in the world. What’s the deal here? Why do so many people hate Stephan Jenkins, frontman, Third Eye Blind? Stephan with an a not an e at the end. “After the Third Eye Blind guy told me he fucked my girlfriend he told me I was ‘a wordsmith like Jim Morrison.’” -Max Collins, frontman, Eve 6 He’s a net negative as a person.” -John Vanderslice, San Francisco singer-songwriter and producer “Stephan Jenkins has caused a lot of misery in his lifetime. The song ‘Somebody Hates You’ is entirely about him.” -Jason Slater, former bassist and Stephan Jenkins bandmate, Third Eye Blind, talking up his new band, Snake River Conspiracy
He was the inspiration for a lot of the songs on this record. I wanted to have a career in music for the rest of my life, and I knew if I was associated with that guy, I would not be allowed to do so. “I was hip to Stephan’s bullshit a long time ago. He’s really just a cock.” -Rob Thomas, immortal singer of Santana’s “Smooth,” 10 years after the Walking Cheese thing “I don’t hate him, I just don’t like him. This was pre-“Smooth.” He was still mortal then. Rob had gained 40 pounds on the first major Matchbox Twenty tour. I just think, ‘You are walking, breathing, living cheese!’” -Rob Thomas, frontman, Matchbox Twenty. He and his band got into a fight once because he wanted to put just his picture on their T-shirt. (I feel so much better now.)” -Zach Lind, drummer, Jimmy Eat World “Stephan Jenkins is such a fucking creepy douchebag. That’s all I’ll say about that.” -Steve Harwell, frontman, Smash Mouth I wouldn’t go near Stephan Jenkins and that band. “There’s a few bands that we just don’t like touring with. He’s so narcissistic that he’s not really capable of rational thought.” -Kevin Cadogan, former lead guitarist and Stephan Jenkins bandmate, Third Eye Blind “Stephan Jenkins is a total megalomaniac freak.
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